Words to live by

"If you're gonna fart, you should at least make it loud."

"If I ever get hit by an arrow, it BETTER be flaming!"

-Mario

Roswell Ward Primary Program

"When you get baptized, you get dumped in the water."

Where...

I asked , Tyler, How do you feel?
He said, I feel sick.
I asked, Where do you feel sick?
He answered, In my room......
Duh.....

toasty

I'm already toast.
-Abigail

Outerspace

Abigail - "Daddy, can I wear my flowery dress to outer space?"

the Abigail ABC's

A starts with Abigail!

-Abigail

California overpass

"I love being high! It makes me freak out and have fun!"
-Emaline

space book

Mario's dad- do you guys have one of those "blogs"?
Katie- yeah.
Mario's dad- Is that anything like "My Face"?

Nerds at Halloween

They're purple! And they taste like pretty!

-Emaline

driving

Oh, no! Mommy's driving!

-Abby

Empty threat

Emaline, eat your watermelon or I'll take your eyeball.

-Mario

not very family friendly...

We gotta find out what happened to this guy's penis.

-Dallas Smith

Curious George

The man in the yellow hat: You sound impressed?

Scientist: Why, yes! Are your hands really that hairy?

Bathroom

"So, I go into my favorite stall..."
-Mario

Becoming a daddy

It's OK if I get mixed up with my dad's germs. I won't turn into a daddy.

-Emaline, age 5

Another Quote Door Classic

Warning- not quite as family friendly as most...

"...These are the keys to the Sex T.A.'s cubicle."
-Jay Matheson

I want a screwdriver in my teeth!
-Abby

It hurts to have stuff burned off your fingers.
-Katie

You've done a good job raising me.
-Mario to Katie

The potty hurt my ceilings!
-Abby

Penetrated by vectors?....

high on what?

Is the Eye Doctor high?
-Emaline

Got J-O-B?

"Man! I'm gonna have to go into work tomorrow and, like, WORK while I'm there."
-Mario